My anxiety has been awful lately… I had a panic/anxiety attack last week and today I had (am having) another one. I hope no one ever has to go through this, it’s one of the worst feelings. I don’t know why I’ve been having them more frequently lately. I think the reason I’ve been feeling like this is because maybe of what I heard at work. Something happened and its bringing back memories and flashbacks. maybe I’m just angry with myself that I allowed that to happen. (I know people are confused as to what the fuck I’m talking about, while some others aren’t. all I have to say is your past is a bitch and as much as you try to escape it, it always has a way to come back and ruin everything. I wish I could go curl up in my bed and just stay there for awhile) just hoping to move past this
There’s Nothing I’ve been missing more lately than late night stickam sessions with the people I love most. I’m hoping to do well in school in order to get my internet back. So far I’m not doing so bad. I miss my friends so much…
10 DAY IPOD SHUFFLE CHALLENGE
You literally have to do these by day and not more than one a day because you have to post the audio file up. (; So don’t miss a day!
First song to come on your shuffle; why it is on your iPod, what significance does it hold? Grand Theft Autumn- Fall Out Boy, wow epic! the significance of FOB…where do I begin? my favorite band of all time and the band I’ve seen too many times live to count atm. This band got me into music and going to shows. Without them I’d probably still be listening to the radio -__-
First song to come on your shuffle that makes you happy; why does it make you happy?what is this Calm Before The Storm- Fall Out Boy. this song is off of Take This To Your Grave. My favorite album by Fall Out Boy and it pretty much brings me back to all the good times I had driving around in high school doing nothing. I miss those days.
First song to come on your shuffle that makes you sad; why does it make you sad? doesn’t really make me sad but it just reminds me of the old days, New Friend Request- Gym Class Heroes. it makes me laugh
Fifteenth song to come on your shuffle is now the theme that describes your life; what does it say? oh great…. Liar(it takes one to know one)- Taking Back Sunday…I guess its pretty self explanatory…”I’m an addict for dramatics..”
List the first ten songs to come on your shuffle, and post the first one in your audio post. One-Eighty By Summer- Taking Back Sunday, In Bloom-Nirvana, hahaha Mike Hamiltion-Windows (thanks angie), Amazing- Kanye West, This Is How We Do- All Time Low, I’ll Run-The Cab, The TIde-The Spill Canvas, Dear Maria Count Me In- All Time Low, I Swear This Time I Mean It- Mayday Parade, Grand Theft Autumn (acoustic)-Fall Out Boy.
First song to come on your shuffle that relates to your day that day; explain it. Coldest Winter- Kanye West…. “If spring can take the snow away. Can it melt away all our mistakes?’”
Think of a certain song to want to listen to right now, and go through your shuffle until you find it. Post how many songs out of how many are in your entire library it took to get to it. not bad, 84/7007
First song to come on your shuffle that is a love song; explain it’s significance to you if any. blah “Everything I ask for..” by The Maine. I don’t like love songs…
First song to come on your shuffle from a band that you have seen in concert. If you haven’t seen any bands in concert, one that you would like to see. Hotspur- Sold, I’ve seen them twice in concert. I love these boys more than anything. They are awesome guys and are so nice. I’ve known them since 06’ and have been waiting for them to blow up soon :)
First song to come on your shuffle that describes your outlook on life; why? Explain it. “We all Roll Along” followed by “We’ll all be” by The Maine, my two favorite songs by this band… (I love when this happens <3) the lyrics “This place behind I would run away from thinkin’ Adding up all the days spent wasted.” and “And in the end we all know we only breathe for so long. So tonight’s the night we all roll along.” pretty much sum it up… a fall out boy song would have been perfect too though
“found the courage to keep going, as much as its going to be painful
thanks to my friend(s) and strangers being the voice of reason
its easy to give up when you’ve never really started trying”—
This isn't really a question. I just wanted to say that it doesn't matter if you relapsed again, I want you to know that no matter what you are always in control. You allow how much influence the drug has on you. You allow how much influence anything external can have over you. I want to encourage you not to give up and to stay positive as well as connected to yourself. You will be in my thoughts.
wow, thank you so much. this honestly means so much to me
Lately I’ve been feeling like there’s so much I want to get off my chest. But the only people I truly trust are hundreds of miles away in different states. (Except one) but I’ve been so nostalgic And just want things back to normal which I know in my heart won’t most likely happen. Because I don’t have internet on my computer things are harder. I know people think I’m nuts but my true friends know me and I can only be with all of them if I’m on the internet. I miss things and know I’m going back to my old ways. I feel a slight state of depression slipping in. I just want to sleep the day away And end this feeling all together.
Take me back to those days
Where worrying about who I was never crossed my mind
When I only cared about my next fix.
I’m far from broken or bruised, damaged is the only way to describe my current state.
My old ways were easier, never caring who id hurt in the process was the way I traveled through life.
Gliding by on numbed feelings
Saying I missed that is an understatment
Never wanting to return is something I wish I felt.
Forgetting how I use to live. With the withdrawals, quick fixs and the constant attempt to fill a hole that was never quite full enough. All that gave me the pleasure I seek now.
I’m fearful for this empty tunnel ahead, what’s inside, will it complete me or leave me once again searching for answers.
Just how I feel at the moment, sorry if it doesn’t make sense.
My biggest accomplishment to date was when I spoke in front of 400 young kids about staying sober. I feel like I failure because after almost 2 years of soberity I let It slip through my fingers. I feel like I impacted at least one of those life’s that day But I wish I could still have lived up to everything I imagined. I wish so many other things could gave happened. Mainly I want to let my old self know what my future had in store for me…